Behind the Helm

D60 GUNS

Written for Into the Odd and adjecent systems.

  1. Merchant’s Maid (d6 Bulky): Unwieldy shotgun with a vast array of pouches and satchels stapled onto the stock. Can fire any kind of shell you have on hand. Sounds like KCHOW-KCHOW-KCHOW!
  2. Trainer Rifle (0 DMG): Decommissioned training implement from a sniper school. Fires a chip that can track the target’s location d6 days after the flechette is shot. The shot is unnoticeable if fired into armor or equipment. Sounds like FFFFFFIP!
  3. Kariofili (d8 Bulky): Finely engraved hunting musket. The flint gives off a searing flame for a few seconds before the round. Sounds like FSHHHHH-KOW!
  4. Wind-Rifle (d6 Bulky): Wooden bold-action rifle with a small air tank in the back. Fires using compressed air. Needs no gunpowder, but needs compressed air (10 minutes of rigorous pumping required to charge the air tank, lasts for up to 6 shots). Sounds like WHOOOASH!
  5. Derringer (d6): Small enough to be hidden in any pocket or jacket flap, passes through any checkpoint. One shot, noisy as fuck. Sounds like TAHHH!
  6. Staple Gun (d6): Spring-loaded, stinks of wet cement. On a roll of 6, staples a piece of the enemy’s gear or clothing onto their skin, rendering it unusable unless they take an action to remove it. Sounds like CHOK!
  7. The Twins (d10 Bulky, Blast, Move-or-Fire): Extremely heavy, but portable, cast-iron cannon. Can shoot twice before needing a turn to reload and aim. Sounds like DOON, DOON!
  8. Modulo-Marksman (d8 bulky): Semi-auto rifle of jet-black sheet metal. Can be disassembled (at which point it ceases to be Bulky) or reassembled in moments. Can fire all manner of different rounds if you can find the appropriate spare parts to swap in. Sounds like PENG! PENG! PENG!
  9. Submariner (d8 Bulky): Rust-brown assault rifle. Always slightly moist. Add another d8 to the pool if firing in/under water, through steam, or in moist environments. Sounds like BR-BR-BR-BR-BR-BRAHHH!
  10. Cosmo Dream (d6): Three-barreled muzzle-loading pistol. Can fire flares for long-distance signaling, or (inaccurate) shotgun rounds at very short ranges. Sounds like KRRRUNK!
  11. Kommando-Kannon (d6): Semi-auto pistol with a detachable stock made of sharpened steel (d6 as a melee weapon). Cannot get Impaired by poor visibility or weather. Sounds like GAN-GAN-GAN-GAN!
  12. Dragonslayer (d8 Bulky): Semi-auto hunting rifle with a telescopic sight. The stock has a tacky (actually rad) air-brush painting of a flame-wreathed dragon. Fires flames (purely decorative) with each shot. Sounds like FWOOM! with a sick electric guitar lick in the background.
  13. Silver Slicker (d8): shining long-barreled revolver with an ivory handle, in an exquisite leather holster. Always hits when attempting a quick-draw. Sounds like BANG!, and makes the onomatopoeia appear above the shooter in big letters whenever it is shot.
  14. Barcode Scanner (0 DMG): Portable, runs on AA batteries (already included, strangely enough). Can accurately assess the value of any item it scans. D6 as a melee weapon, +d6 against tax dodgers. Sounds like BEEP!
  15. Do-Not-Touch (d8 Bulky): Semi-auto shotgun. Dangerous and illegal pretty much everywhere. The recoil blasts your shoulder each time. On a roll of 8, add another d8 to the pool; if that one rolls 8 too, the gun explodes. Sounds like P-KRANK!
  16. Jungle Tiger (d6): Submachine gun with camo print, decorated with postage stamps. Add a d6 to the pool if firing from obscurement (shadows, foliage, etc). Gains Blast if you empty the whole magazine. Sounds like RAW-RAW-RAW-RAW-RAWRRR!
  17. The One-Man Army (d8 Blast, Bulky, Move-or-Fire): Chain-fed artillery unit, set into the ground. Fires bursts of explosive rounds in a wide arc, the enemy never sees ‘em coming, but they do hear the whistling from above. Sounds like WHIEEEEEE-THUNK!
  18. The Navy Saboteur (d8): Chunky revolver with a scrimshawed handle. Guaranteed to pierce thin surfaces and containers. Very quiet if you know what you’re doing, which you don’t, unfortunately. In your hands it sounds like PAM-PAM-PAM!
  19. Caulk Blaster (0 DMG, Bulky): Fires a sticky silicone based white substance. (Cue immature joke.) Hardens if not removed before the end of the round, sticking together whatever it was fired on. Sounds like BLOTCH!
  20. Deer-Spooker (d6): Short-barreled lever-action gun with a mean bumper sticker. The phosphorus-rounds flash blindingly hot if they hit something hard. Sounds like SHINGGGGG!
  21. Fiat Lux (d6 Blast, Bulky): Machine gun with the swivel-mount torn off. On a roll of 6 it flies out of your hand. Sounds like PRRRRRRRRAH!
  22. Rebel’s Relic (d6): Submachine gun, covered in centuries-old dirt, with a slight golden sheen. Extremely valued by collectors and thieves alike. Sounds like DING-DING-DING-DING!
  23. Best Friend (d8 Bulky, two attacks/turn): Big twin-barreled shotgun. Covered in chains and metal brackets. Has separation anxiety, will regress to d4 if not constantly held by your side. Sounds like BWAAAH!
  24. “One of your French guns” (d6): Semi-auto pistol with a paintbrush-shaped laser attachment where a bayonet should be. Can “draw” on any surface it is aiming at, no matter the distance. Sounds like SCRITCH-SCRITCH-SCRITCH.
  25. Resupply Cabinet (d6 Bulky): Hardwood recurve bow with a rusty metal box on the handle. Launches whole loaded pistols at the enemy. On a roll of 6, the die explodes as the launched gun fires. Sounds like TWANNNG! and then a BLAM! if you’re lucky.
  26. Morricone (d6): Has a harmonica-shaped magazine that slides over to the next slot with each bullet fired. D12 in a Mexican standoff. Sounds like a harmonica going WANANANAAAAA~~~
  27. Net Profit (0 DMG): Tube-shaped hand-cannon, fires weighed nets; guaranteed to entangle the target. Large sheriff’s badge on the side of the barrel. Sounds like KA-CHING!
  28. Feuermeister (d6 Blast, Bulky): Ancient-looking machine gun, with floral brass inlays. One hand holds the stand from the bottom, the other turns the crank at the back. On a roll of 1, you’re out of ammo and need to spend a turn manually inserting each round in the drum. Sounds like SKREE-SKREE-SKREE-SKREE…
  29. Kingfisher (d10 Bulky, Move-or-Fire): 10-foot-long hunting shotgun. Too heavy to hold, the barrel needs to be rested onto an object in order to aim. Sounds like PFOOT! and wood cracking.
  30. Surgeon Stinger (d8 Bulky): bolt-action rile, shoots long needles that stick into objects. The needles have a little chamber that can be filled with liquid (e.g. poison, tranquilizer, anything). Sounds like PINGGG!
  31. Tower of Law (d8): Hefty double-action pistol. Has a tall tower-shaped magazine above the chamber, from which the rounds fall down by gravity. Be careful not to tip it over. Sounds like BA-DONK! BA-DONK!
  32. Rocket Vulcan (d6): Wrought-iron flare gun, shoots specialized janky-as-fuck rocket rounds. If you take one action to reposition the bullet in the chamber beforehand, you can make it change direction mid-flight. Sounds like FWAAAAAAH…
  33. Pogo Stick (d8 Bulky): Sand-colored musket with a bronze bayonet. Fire it into the ground to leap 20 feet into the air. Sounds like KRISHHHH!
  34. Pepper Sprinkler (d8): Muzzle-loaded pistol with seven barrels in a hexagon shape. Fires all the rounds at once, takes a turn to reload; breaks on a roll of 8. Absolutely lacerates equipment. Sounds like PWAWAWAWAH!
  35. Heat Gun (d6): Kind of looks like a hairdryer with a long orange cable. Fires a blast of infrared radiation that can melt through metal if given enough time. Needs to be plugged into a wall socket or a battery pack (Bulky). Sounds like PFOAAAHHH…
  36. Little Brother (d6, Move-or-Fire): Single-shot pistol the size of a deck of cards; stores 5 bullets in the handle. The handle is decorated with a colorful illustration: guns with different pictures are exchanged like trading cards the world over. Roll a d6: 1-3 is a common pistol, 4-5 is a rare pistol (worth 3 commons), 6 is a super-rare pistol (worth 10 commons). Sounds like PYONG!
  37. The Last Resort (d4): Brass knuckles (d6 as a melee weapon) with a revolver drum attached at one end, with a finger-sized bayonet. Extremely fragile. Sounds like PIK!
  38. Killing Joke (d6): perfectly regular-looking handgun. The barrel is actually pointing backwards, towards you; shoots you in the face if you don’t know the trick. A perfect gift for a friend you don’t like. Sounds like WOMP-WOMP.
  39. Nature’s Way (d8 Bulky): A musket barrel jammed into a stock-shaped piece of dried-out driftwood. Somehow handles better than any other gun you’ve held. Can never ever be damaged by the elements. Sounds like LAAAAH!~
  40. Fire Tube (d8 Bulky): Singular cannon-like barrel affixed to the end of a long wooden pole. Can fire pretty much any small cannonball-like object (improvised ammunition deals d6). Effective as a blunt melee weapon (d8 Bulky, the stick breaks on an 8 but the barrel remains intact). Sounds like KA-BEEEM!
  41. Deadeye (d10): Single-shot pistol. Requires every single piece of ammunition to be handmade from tips of star-iron crystals and gold casings. Possessed by the spirit of the most legendary marksman to ever live, legend has it there’s a way to awaken it. Sounds like THUMP.
  42. Rider’s Wind (d6 Bulky): Handmade bolt-action rifle. Paper ribbons with inscribed blessings hang from the sights. Add a d8 to the pool if you’re going fast. Sounds like NYEEEOW!
  43. Bird’s Nest (d6 Bulky): Combination crossbow-gun carved from blood-red hardwood, fires sparkling incendiary bolts. The bolts are hard to remove, and spread to all nearby flammable objects each turn. Sounds like FTSHHH!
  44. Measuring Dart (1 DMG): Compound hand-crossbow. Fires a dart connected to a strip of metal measuring tape. Wraps around corners, and withstands impact without ever losing tension. Can’t be detached unless by pressing the button on the dart itself. Sounds like FWIP!
  45. Catherine (d8 Blast, Bulky, Move-or-Fire): Portable missile battery. The missiles explode on landing, damaging anything in their ten-foot radius, allies and structures included. Takes a turn of not-moving to reload. Sounds like FWOP-FWOP-FWOP!
  46. Eye of the Devil (d8 Bulky): Futuristing computer-controlled autocannon. Fits on your head like a helmet, leaving your arms free, but always shoots the nearest “enemy”-classified target and doesn’t stop till they’re dead. It’s hard to look at something else while it’s doing it (attacks against other targets are d4). Sounds like TOMP-TOMP-TOMP-TOMP-TOMP—
  47. Featherweight Repeater (d6): Short-barreled gatling gun with extremely high rate of fire. Adds d6 to the pool against fast-moving targets, stops them in their tracks on a roll of 6.
  48. Smoke-and-Mirrors (d6): Modern-looking semi-auto pistol. When looked at from a distance, can fake firing in a certain direction when in reality you’re firing somewhere else. Sounds like POP-POP-POP, and the sound never comes from where you’re expecting.
  49. Prison-Warden’s-Popper (d6): Submachine gun, rusty, with a flimsy stock. Any prisoner whom this is pointed to is psychically compelled to not escape and follow orders, if reluctantly. Sounds like PARAPARAPAM! and angry screaming.
  50. Soda Cannon (d8 Bulky): Plastic cannon colored in tacky purple-orange swirls. Fires full cans of soda. On a 6+, the can bursts, spraying soda everywhere and impeding visibility near the impact; on a 5-, the can stays intact and can still be drunk. Refreshing! Sounds like FWOOT.
  51. Freezer-Fire (d8 Blast, Bulky): Liquid-cooled machine gun. If struck or shot at, coolant vapors spray from the barrel: d6 damage to yourself and nearby enemies as you get frostnip on all exposed skin. Sounds like FRAM-FRAM-FRAM-FRAM!
  52. Armor-Tube Attachment (d6 Blast, Bulky): Grenade-launching tube that straps to your forearm. Takes an action to reload, but keeps your hand free to hold objects or shoot small pistols; too cumbersome for anything more complex. Sounds like THWOP!
  53. Homerunner M-2000 (d6 Bulky): Repurposed baseball-launching device, with a coat of red-white-and-blue paint that’s slowly peeling off. Can simulate curveballs and ricochet shots off of surfaces. Sounds like KA-CHOK!
  54. Tailpipe (d6): crude busted-up flintlock. Eats up powder like it’s nothing, and makes enough smoke to make everyone nearby crack up into a coughing fit. D8 if lit up with the last embers of a freshly-smoked cigarette. Sounds like FK-POW!
  55. Crystal Shine (d8): Officer’s revolver, with a surface of finely-cut glass. Sure to turn heads. The barrel shatters if dropped on a hard surface, putting the gun back to d4. Sounds like PIP-PAM!
  56. Botched Experiment (d8 Bulky): Shotgun with the front-most half of the barrel sawed off and attached to the back-half via a 10-meter rope. As long as the two halves are connected by a rope (which can be replaced), any shell you shoot will come out the muzzle, no matter how far away or where it is. If shot while unconnected, both halves explode loonytunesically. Sounds like RATTLE-RATTLE!
  57. Pitbull (d6): Hefty semi-auto pistol. The muzzle is fitted with a beartrap-like steel jaw that opens and closes with a slight pull of the trigger, strong enough to tear into sheet metal. and crumple a steel pipe. Sounds like GANK-GANK-GANK!
  58. Night-Seeker (d8 Bulky): Benchrest rifle with integrated night-vis scope. After 10 minutes of fiddling around with the barrel angles, can hit any designated target within line of sight, at max damage. Sounds like PEEEOW!
  59. Stinger (d6): Long and slender muzzle-loading pistol. Comes with a matching cartridge box that fits on your belt. +d6 if fired from horseback or from a fast-moving vehicle. Sounds like KLINK!
  60. T-Shirt Cannon (0 DMG, Bulky): Fires a random assortment of colorful T-shirts with graphics from used car dealerships and all-you-can-eat buffet restaurants and crappy theme parks. Roll d6: 1 - the shirt awkwardly flops onto the target. 2-3: the shirt gets stuck on their eyes (or the closest thing to them). 4-5: the shirt gets tangled up in their legs. 6: the shirt slips onto them perfectly. Sounds like a party horn going WEEAAAW!

#content #random tables #weapons